Cleaning House
Well, this weekend I'm finally going to clean the garage (do I hear an angelic chorus?) and get rid of and pack up all the stuff I don't use...an attempt at objectively downsizing...but it's oh so hard to part with my many books. My excuse (and it really is a good one...really) for not cleaning the "garage" sooner, is my life has been a continuous rollercoaster ride of caregiving, college classes, teaching and theater projects. So why this weekend? Well... I've been sensing heavenly orders to pack my things for months now and I've been resistant. Strange? Hmm..."OK God", I said finally, "I don't get it, but I'll do it...put my trust in you, clean-up, pack, pray and wait."
Today, I feel a lot like the wandering Israelites when they got tired of eating the manna God freely provided each day and following a heavenly cloud around and around and around in the desert. When Moses went up the mountain to speak with God (again...I said, actually speak with God, no less) they got a little jumpy and built a silly golden calf to worship instead. Wow! Pretty dumb. So if I know about those jumpy Israelites, then why do I often fall back into fretting and worrying while God is daily providing what I need? Yes...he's not giving me more than I need...just enough...but I believe there's a purpose in that. I believe he's patiently offering me the chance to learn needed lessons about humility, surrender, trust and stewardship. Am I learning? Why, when God is teaching me so many things, do I still question his wisdom and his power to do anything he wills to do in my life...no matter how illogical or impossible it might seem to me? God can do anything. I know this intellectually but do I really "know it"? Have I internalized this spiritual reality? Do I hold the reality of God's power in my heart?
When your words came, I ate them; they were my joy and my heart's delight, for I bear your name, oh Lord God Almighty. - Jeremiah 15:16
How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth! I gain understanding from your precepts; therefore I hate every wrong path. - Psalms 119: 103,104
Today, I feel a lot like the wandering Israelites when they got tired of eating the manna God freely provided each day and following a heavenly cloud around and around and around in the desert. When Moses went up the mountain to speak with God (again...I said, actually speak with God, no less) they got a little jumpy and built a silly golden calf to worship instead. Wow! Pretty dumb. So if I know about those jumpy Israelites, then why do I often fall back into fretting and worrying while God is daily providing what I need? Yes...he's not giving me more than I need...just enough...but I believe there's a purpose in that. I believe he's patiently offering me the chance to learn needed lessons about humility, surrender, trust and stewardship. Am I learning? Why, when God is teaching me so many things, do I still question his wisdom and his power to do anything he wills to do in my life...no matter how illogical or impossible it might seem to me? God can do anything. I know this intellectually but do I really "know it"? Have I internalized this spiritual reality? Do I hold the reality of God's power in my heart?
When your words came, I ate them; they were my joy and my heart's delight, for I bear your name, oh Lord God Almighty. - Jeremiah 15:16
How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth! I gain understanding from your precepts; therefore I hate every wrong path. - Psalms 119: 103,104
Labels: Ruminations
posted by Michelle Coder | 9:26 AM
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