Persons as Persons
Argonauta - Gift From the Sea - Anne Morrow LindberghAfter the oyster bed, there is an opportunity for the best relationship of all between two partners: not the limited, mutually exclusive “first love” relationship of the sunrise shell; and not the functional, dependent one of the marriage, oyster bed; but a meeting of two whole, fully developed people as persons. It would be, as defined by the Scottish philosopher MacMurray, a fully personal relationship, that is a “type of relationship into which people enter as persons with the whole of themselves…such relationships have no ulterior motive. They are not based on particular interests. They do not serve partial or limited ends. Their value lies entirely in themselves and for the same reason transcends all other lesser values. And that is because they are relations of persons as persons.” The German poet Rilke also wrote of “persons as persons” relationships. He hoped for a future in which “a relation is meant to be of one human being to another…And this more human love (that will fulfill itself, infinitely considerate and gentle, and good and clear in binding and releasing) will resemble that which we are with struggle and endeavor preparing, the love that consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other.
Labels: Marriage, Ruminations
posted by Michelle Coder | 11:06 PM
2 Comments:
1994 -I value myself - I value peace of mind and the upwelling of spontaneous creative joy. I value my personal beliefs and boundaries. I value my mind and body and spirit. I am worthy of respect and I am worthy of love. I am a dancer who refuses to be bound by the limitations of ignorance and fear. I will accept nothing less than the clear cleansing draught of universal consciousness ...the waves of sound and light that wash delusion from my eyes, ears and heart. I have the discipline to realize harmony, wholeness and loving expression.
1994 - Solitude. The inner pressure builds until I find myself turning from human relationships and their many distractions to a relationship with myself and with art... I woke up this morning wondering if my creativity is the flower of my loneliness...my inner voices speaking into a silent room which suddenly becomes universally large. Like Jacob I am alone wrestling with God ...my body...my ego...my destiny.
I had an idea recently about "state of grace". I thought that perhaps those who achieve such a state have found an understanding of an inherent morality ... a natural law... the idiots guide to the maintenance and repair of the human race. All religions have attempted to set down such moral laws but their methods are mechanistic ...limited by historical rigidity?? What may have been a reflection of inherent morality dissipates ... becomes clouded by disciples who can see the reflection of the vision only dimly and so communicate the image in a way that will serve "practical" shortsighted societal needs. Society then molds the image into an idol called religion. Religion: i.e. a visible, concrete, practical representation of the reflection of the an individuals vision of inherent morality. So many get tangled in the forms of religion that they become blind to the root...the original vision. Somehow, those who achieve perfection (if that is possible) find an understanding of basic universal truths. Moreover, I believe such truths do exist. How do we actualize such truths?
There is so much to learn ... I know so little really. I'd like to learn how to love and how to be kind. How often I must remember to love and be kind to myself first. Though I may in part be the reflection in another's eyes or the subject of criticism by self and others, I am more than these things. I see what is true only dimly yet I do see my beauty ... my worthiness. Those are things I need to dwell upon more than on my failures. And failures ... aren't they really attempts at some higher thing.
Since I was young I've believed that people can share a deep and lasting love. I recognize that love ... sometimes in myself ... love ... self love ... universal love ... romantic love ... In all I seek the resonance of open, fearless understanding and acceptance. I see ... yet I continue to struggle with my emotions ... fear and desire .. playing roles that only allow rare glimpses of the free and joyful expression of that love. "Seek not to be loved but to love" St Francis.
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