Being Worthy

It's interesting to observe my faith with new/old eyes and an new/old heart...a strange sensation to be the same person I was but transformed in a way I can't describe. I still do a lot of the same negative stuff, lose my patience, say things I regret, but I am convicted now in a way I wasn't before...kind of gently reminded that the consequences I recognize are most often the fruits of my actions. And if challenges arise that are beyond my control, I'm able to accept God's will is a mystery and answers to prayer are not always what we expect.

I also don't feel guilty about not being perfect. I feel guilt when I'm contributing negative energy to the world, but it's a guilt that corrects me rather than destroys me. I've been thinking about that a lot. I guess I am comforted with hope and that hope helps me believe there is good in everyone, including me. I feel we are all worthy of God's love. I don't say that with arrogance. I say that with confidence in a God who created mankind and then became human and died to bring all of us back to life in Him. God values all of his creation. He loves us and wants to be part of us. Yes, we don't deserve His unconditional love but we are worthy of God's love because he loves and values us. His Love and redemption make us worthy.

I was driving home from church the other day thinking about this worthy thing because I've heard a lot of Christians say they feel unworthy. Things they want to happen in their lives aren't happening, times are hard and maybe they feel responsible and not good enough. Maybe waiting for God's guidance seems inactive and wrong. Maybe waiting doesn't seem very proactive. It goes against the grain of modern American society. It feels wrong to relax and wait when time is breathing down our backs. Maybe that's why I see so many sad faces in church. Could submission to His will be only part of God's plan for us?

A freind mentioned the importance of being in the Now and I think he's right on. Maybe being in the Now is the way to activate our will in Christ. For me step one is not brooding about the future and releasing my worries like butterflies. That way I can continue to look for God's guidance and answers throughout the day. By staying awake I can see how he wants me to take action. And to stay awake I have to pray a lot, cry when God breaks my pride and ask Him each day to melt and enliven the gold veins of Spirit that are breaking through my stubborn and prideful heart.

Praise God for the miracle of the Holy Spirit who does comfort and guide those who seek guidance. Relying on God is being in the Now...having the courage and strength to live each moment fully and resonantly...shining as brightly as possible..being our most beautiful self in the world...being open to loving, giving and receiving unconditionally. Therefore, I can live in Christ in weakness and in strength, without self condemnation, guilt or a feeling of unworthiness. I recognize my sin and my salvation. I am spirit and flesh, both imperfectly human and perfected in Christ.

God's Name

Exodus 3:13
Moses said to God, "Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, 'The God of your fathers has sent me to you,' and they ask me, 'What is his name?' Then what shall I tell them?"

God said to Mose, "I AM who I AM" (or I WILL BE WHAT I WILL BE). This is what you are to say to the Israelites: 'I AM has sent me to you.' " God also said to Moses, "Say to the Israelites, 'The Lord, the God of your fathers - the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob - has sent me to you.' This is my name forever, the name by which I am to be remembered from generation to generation."

Mark 14:61
Again the high priest asked him, "Are you the Christ, the Son of the Blessed One?" "I am," said Jesus. "And you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Mighty One and coming on the clouds of heaven."

John 17:10
"I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name - the name you gave me - so that they may be one as we are one. While I was with them I kept them safe by that name you gave me."

Matthew 1:21
"For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."

Putting Doubt in Context

Doubts? I hear a lot of folks are having doubts about their faith. I don't doubt that (no pun intended) since the term Christianity has many definitions now-a-days. You can be a member of the Christian World, a citizen of a Christian country, a Christian by upbringing, a practicing Christian, a church going Christian, a Born Again Christian...it's pretty endless and pretty confusing. Another twist now-a-days is that those in government who profess to be Christians, who cater to those who profess to be Christian and who claim their agenda is to promote Christianity politically and socially are fast falling under the gun of moral scrutiny and proving to be not quite what they hoped we would believe them to be. Of course all these folks are human and subject to sin and a heartfelt apology and admission of a dramatic spiritual conversion does appeal to our desire to forgive and forget. Yet...it is all so confusing...especially for so called "thinking Christians" and those who perpetually ride the well-worn fence of doubtful longing between belief and disbelief. I'll throw recent seminary graduates into that mix since I'm told they are often rocked by "liberal professors" who teach a historical interpretation of the Bible. Not a bad thing, but it can be a shock. Been there, done that. Sigh!

The strangest thing of all is that I, (and this is no brag, believe me) a confirmed Doubting Thomas and a reformed rabid hater of contemporary Christianity, have no doubt in my heart that Christ is who he claimed to be. Yeah, my head kinda jumps in with worrisome, philosophical questions but my heart is sure. That's a first, and this confidence is not originating from me. I've been given a gift of belief for which I am incredibly grateful.

So...here's my take on doubt. If I was still only thinking with my head there's one glaring thing I just realized a lot of Christians are not seeing...I didn't see it way back when. Here it is.

Why do we tend to base our belief or disbelief on the behavior, or misbehavior, of other Christians and the church? How is that really a relevant reason to doubt God and the validity of Christ's teachings? Think about it.

Think about your Bible stories. Let's go way back to Noah. He was the only guy in the world who really believed in God. Just imagine if he had said, "Man, those other God Believers are sure hypocrites. Maybe this God thing is just a psychological manifestation of some kind." Or what about Abraham or Job or Moses or Jeremiah. If you do a little research there were a lot of guys and gals in the Judeo-Christian tradition who believed in God when all around them were not believing or were telling them they were nuts and/or were professing one thing and doing another. O.K.. You say that's the Old Testament. In the New Testament you can find the same kind of stories about folks who believed in Christ despite a widespread occurance of hypocrisy, doubt, disbelief, political manipulations and muddled thinking. Why do you think Paul wrote all those Epistles?

So what does it all come down to? What is Faith? What is Belief? Maybe the proofs, the miracles, are all around us and we just don't recognized them. Maybe God has been whispering answers but we couldn't hear him through the din of our rational mind. Lord help my disbelief! So how does God help us? God helps us accept His gift of Grace by never giving up until we completely surrender to His will. It's easy to say "I'm a Christian". It's not so easy to surrender to God. Like it's really not easy to love your neighbor as yourself or love God with all your heart, mind and soul. Easy to say...hard to do without God's help. Do you think it was easy for Abram, Job, Mose, Jeremiah...they all suffered...they all hit bottom somewhere along the line....reached the end of their rope...discovered they couldn't understand everything or do everything or change anything. God kinda put them in a head lock and at that crucial point they chose to surrender their will, their life, their families and trust completely in God's plan. They didn't decide to trust God because everyone else was doing it. No one else was doing it. They surrendered because God asked them to.

So, to my fellow doubters all I can say is I know there is hope. Don't look to others to confirm your belief or disbelief and don't try to figure out spiritual truths rationally. Spirit is not rational. God's Love for us is beyond reason.