For though they cling together, no friends are true friends unless you, my God, bind them fast to one another through that love which is sown in our hearts by the Holy Ghost, who is given to us.
- St. Augustine "Confessions"
This kind of thinking is one of the things I disliked about Christianity when I was a young Christian and, later, a non-Christian. In college, I wasn't attracted to young Christian men and I thought the Christian kids I hung out with were insincere, goofy and superficial. Most of the guys I was attracted to were non-Christians. They seemed more intelligent, open minded, experienced and were not afraid to tackle challenging, philosophical and religious questions. Consequently, I balked at what I thought was a harsh and exclusive command to not date unbelievers and all my boyfriends were non-Christians. I also thought we should be friends with everyone and not be cliquish and exclusive so I had friends of all different beliefs.
What is interesting is now, many years later, I agree with St. Augustine's quote. No, it's not because I'm older, starting to close my mind and ossify. It's not even because I've lived as both a Christian and a non-Christian. I think I agree (much to my surprise) because I have finally experienced the mysteries of Christ's Love and the Holy Spirit through submission to Jesus Christ as my Master. What I've discovered by God's grace is it is only through submission of my will that I am open to God's Love through the Holy Spirit. I find the reality of this Love is different than anything I have ever experienced. It is a love that can be shared with all people, but I find I'm incapable now of being "bound fast" to someone who is not in that Love with me. Three years ago, I didn't understand this reality. Three years ago, I didn't know that because I had not accepted the Holy Spirit I could only understand God's Love cognitively, emotionally in part, and was not immersed in it interactively body, mind and soul. I was not in Love with Christ so I did not personally know Love.
God does not reject us, we reject God. God is always waiting for us, with open arms, to come home. Over the years, I do believe I knew aspects of God and I longed for God. Sometimes I could imagine God. I experienced an opening of my mind in times of crisis. I remember my heart fully opening when I gazed deeply at a newborn baby girl one day or held a puppy. And I felt God's presence once when I participated in a Hindu religious ceremony. Whenever I reached out God was there. But I could not accept his Son and, therefore, I could not truly surrender an open, trusting heart and accept and experience Love.
Love changed me. It was literally a re-birth. Yeah, my inner landscape still has the topography etched into it by 40 + years of living and making good and bad choices. I often don't listen to what is best and I allow engrained habits to control me. But what is changed is I feel what is often called an abiding joy. It is a joy that ebbs and flows, transcends circumstances and is there for me whenever I seek it. And more powerfully still, I know deep inside, so deep I don't understand the depths and width and height of it, that Jesus Christ is who he said he was. For a natural born cynic and someone who feels they must stay intellectually open to the possibility that someone may disprove Jesus' claim, it is amazing to me that the faith God gave me is not shaken. My being a Believer in Christ is truly a great mystery I don't fully understand. It is beyond reason.
So, from experience, I know it's true that once one has experienced God's Love there is a spiritual separation that occurs (hard to describe and it happens beyond our control) between those who accept God's will and those who do not. This is the heart of the teaching that we should not to be unequally yoked. Two people cannot be truly one in mind, body and soul if one is in Christ and the other is not. It is not some sort of punishment; it is just a spiritual reality.